New Year’s Resolutions and Lasting Change

How to Make Real, Lasting Change

Why Most New Year’s Resolutions Fail – And How to Make Real, Lasting Change

Did you know that over 50% of New Year’s resolutions fail by January 19th? It is not because people are not motivated, but because change is a process, not a decision. In this article, we will explore the stages of change and show you how to move past barriers to create lasting transformation in your life.

The Stages of Change: A Proven Model for Lasting Transformation

In 1983, psychologists James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente developed a model to understand how people change. Their stages include:

1. Pre-contemplation

2. Contemplation

3. Preparation

4. Action

5. Relapse

6. Maintenance

Let’s break them down, using the example of someone wanting to get fit.

Stage 1: Pre-contemplation – Are You Ready to Change?

In the pre-contemplation stage, you may not even realize there is an issue. Perhaps you are unaware of the need to change, or you might recognize unhealthy behaviors but feel indifferent about doing anything about them.

For example, imagine that a person knows they need to exercise but is not yet convinced. They may need external motivation, such as a doctor’s recommendation before they begin thinking about changing. This is when change moves from something theoretical to something that might eventually be internalized and acted upon.

Stage 2: Contemplation – The Desire to Change

At the contemplation stage, you recognize the need for change but have not committed to it yet. You might think, “I should get fit one day,” but there is no set date for action.

This is a key stage—while the desire to change exists, the readiness to take action often is not prominent yet. People here might sign up for a gym membership but never show up.

Tip: Do not rush to start—use this stage to reflect on why change is important and how it will benefit your life. If you are aiming to get fit, consider why health matters to you long-term.

Stage 3: Preparation – Planning for Success

Now, you are ready to take action. This stage is about making a clear, intentional plan. You start researching your options: gym memberships, home workout equipment, diet changes, or hiring a personal trainer. The key here is to assess whether you have the time, motivation, and resources to make change sustainable.

As Jesus said in Luke 14:28-30, “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will you first sit down and estimate the cost?” Real, sustainable change takes preparation and planning.

For example, you might prepare by buying healthy groceries, setting a schedule for workouts, or researching meal prep strategies. Instead of starting with a broad goal like "eating clean," create specific, achievable plans like “meal prep for the week on Sundays.”

Stage 4: Action – The Beginning of Change

This is where you begin to take measurable steps toward your goal. You sign up for that gym membership, start working out regularly, or begin eating healthier meals.

But here is the secret: consistency is key. It is not enough to just take action once—you need to repeat the process and build new habits. Whether it is exercising 3 times a week or preparing meals in advance, it is about doing it over and over until it becomes second nature.

Stage 5: Relapse – When Things Do Not Go as Planned

Relapse is an expected part of the change process. It is when you slip back into old habits—perhaps skipping workouts or indulging in unhealthy foods. But relapse is not failure—it is part of the learning process.

Think of it as a chance to adjust your strategy, not a setback. If you miss a few workouts or return to old eating habits, do not quit. Reflect on what went wrong and what you can do differently next time.

Tip: Use “fail months” as an opportunity to reassess. It is not about being perfect but being resilient. Failure does not erase progress—it is a chance to grow stronger.

Stage 6: Maintenance – Sustaining the Change

Once you have established a new behavior, the goal is to maintain it over time. For fitness, this might mean regularly tracking progress or adjusting your workouts to ensure continued improvement. But remember, this phase requires consistent effort, even when things are going well.

Evaluating your progress is essential. Use tools like apps or journals to track your growth, whether it is your fitness level, eating habits, or mental state. The key to maintaining change is celebrating small wins and being patient with yourself as you build on your progress.

How to Overcome Barriers to Change

The road to lasting change often involves confronting negative beliefs and emotions that can hold us back. If you struggle with feeling inadequate or doubtful, identifying these core beliefs and replacing them with positive affirmations can help you move forward.

Community and Accountability

Having a support system is crucial for change. Whether it is a friend, family member, or a mentor, accountability helps you stay committed when you want to give up. Find someone who shares your goals or has successfully made similar changes. Talking to them about their struggles and successes can inspire you and provide helpful insights.

Practical Steps for Lasting Change

1. Pick an area of focus: What is one goal you want to achieve?

2. Assess your resources: Do you have the time and energy to sustain change?

3. Create a plan: Based on where you are in the stages of change, develop a clear plan for moving forward.

4. Identify potential barriers: What is holding you back? How can you overcome it?

5. Seek support: Find someone to hold you accountable and encourage you along your journey.

6. Learn from setbacks: Relapse is part of the process. Reflect on what went wrong and adjust your approach.

Ready to Make Real Change?

The new year offers a fresh start, but real change takes more than a resolution—it requires planning, commitment, and resilience. Whether you want to get fit, build better habits, or transform your mindset, ensure you approach change strategically and with patience.

If you are ready to break free from limiting beliefs and build lasting habits, I can help. Together, we will create a personalized plan for holistic transformation, click this link.

Resources

Prochaska, James O. , John Norcross, Carlo DiClemente. Changing for Good: A Revolutionary Six-Stage Program for Overcoming Bad Habits and Moving Your Life Positively Forward. South Carolina: Quill, 1994.

Written by Dr. James E. Francis Jr.

Dr. Francis is the founder of Intentional Bridges, a mental health counseling and coaching practice that provides accountability through encouragement and empowerment that drives resilience and spiritual maturity. James helps with issues including anxiety, anger, depression, grief, infidelity, life transitions, stress, marital readiness, men’s issues, relationship issues, race-related issues, pornography addiction, PTSD, and trauma. He believes that therapy should be clinically excellent and theologically accurate. He prioritizes the integration of Scripture with elements of psychology to operate a holistic growth plan. James helps individuals identify and overcome their negative core beliefs. Then walks beside them to promote step-by-step healing from the pain of the past.